Yes, today we will talk about my most incessant, loved, and frequently tapped addiction. It’s time for some confession.
I sneak off to get fixes.
I hide in the bathroom.
I have to have it. Seriously, I’m a junkie.
I’m a ‘multi-tasker.’
You can read that however you want- adrenaline junkie, intense, fast-paced… you know, I’m a guy that gets things done.
Here’s where I get blunt. It should be read- ‘double-minded,’ ‘divided,’ ‘inconsistent,’ ‘distracted,’ … even so far as, ‘intentionally busy to feel important.’ Yes… it’s true. I’m a multi-tasker because it makes me feel important.
I love for people to see me bustling around, getting stuff done, worn out. But it’s a joke. And it’s killing me.
Sure, we all know that we can only do one thing at a time. It’s common sense. But like many things that we ‘know’ we don’t really take it seriously.
We know that McDonalds is not real food. We know that it’s bad for your body to drink a lot of alcohol, that it’s a toxin and does what it does by literally thinning out our blood. We know that it’s stupid to text and drive. We know that it’s not wise to ride a motorcycle without a helmet, and that stats say that if you get in a wreck without one, you will die!
We know all of these things to be true. But does it stop us from doing what we want? No. A resounding no. We love grease, sensations, fun, attention… we love it. I love it.
This morning I watched a Rob Bell video put out by Nooma- and at first it didn’t strike me as much. The sort of thing that you look at and go, “Yeah, boy is that ever true.” and then you walk away and don’t really change anything much. You may think about it a bit, let it sorta sink in… but it’s more of a warm thought. Before you read on, watch it, and pay attention to the whole bit about Elijah.
Okay, now- let it sink in. Honestly. Go away. Shut down your computer, and sit in silence.
The noise, it kills us. We seek validation from it. We thrive on it. We pump it in our veins like back alley addicts. It comes in so many forms- business, entertainment, projects, inebriation… and it all exists to shut down our minds, and keep the silence out.
When it gets silent, the Lord gets loud.
When all is quiet, you hear you… you hear what’s actually going on inside, and you have to deal with it.
I can often hate the silence. I don’t want to deal with what’s actually going on inside of me. But time after time, when I let the silence consume me, and overwhelm me- it always turns out to be a comfort.
The silence and sweet whisper of the Lord is terrifying and wild thing. You never know what the great lion will whisper in your ears. And when you lose your safeties, your pleasantries, it’s as though you’re left in the dark with the lion prowling around.
Will he pounce?
Is he going to kill me?
I don’t want a divided mind. I don’t want to thrive on the stress. I don’t want validation from always being busy. I want to rest in my God and creator. I want to commune with Him.
Maybe for Lent this year I’ll do a different sort of fast… can you fast from, you?
I’m sure gonna try.
I want there to be silence in my heart. Maybe I can learn what the idea of the Sabbath is really all about.