Tag Archives: poetry

broken things

photo by Nichole Park Photography

photo by Nichole Park Photography, http://goo.gl/u7JJ90

I had a wonderful thing happen the other day, seriously, a heart-wrenching God-send.

I’m working on these songs, grappling with what I feel they’re saying to me. This may sound neurotic, but once I’ve gotten them out, it’s like a birth… they’re now their own separate thing and I have to honor whatever those emotions were trying to say.

In turn, the songs also have to honor what I’m trying to say. This is the first time I’ve genuinely had an overarching theme that is complete and concise. It makes me so glad. In the end, these songs are saying to me the things that I’ve been needing to hear. I’m getting a chance to write an album of songs that *I* want to listen to and spend time with God in.

Some of the songs get kicked out, because they’re not talking about what I’m wanting to convey… so they have to go, or wait for some other time before they get to exist.

Wednesday night I was driving to Memphis with my wife. She drove so I could write. (very kind of her) I wanted to listen to some of the songs that didn’t yet have lyrics. I pulled up one that I hadn’t messed with in a good 6 months, and to my surprise, I had already written lyrics.

I had completely forgotten. A while back, in a night of sadness I was praying and just trying to find the sorrowful feeling I was having inside… I had forgotten that there was a whole song that gushed out and I had recorded it really fast as a rough draft so that I wouldn’t forget it.

I cried. It really ministered to me the other day.

You see, we’re broken. We’re all broken. We all try to spend so much time pretending that we’re not but we are. The good news is that there’s a God who absolutely adores the broken things. He longs for our company… and in his presence, but by bit, he makes us whole.

Sometimes I’m amazed at the words that the Father will send us in our messes. He speaks so kindly, and his kindness certainly brings us to repentance.

____________________________

Broken Things

clear my mind – tell my soul to be still
So I can hear You whisper in the middle of my noise
Tell my waves to be still
be still

I just don’t get you sometimes
I see you sleeping in the boat when I’m terrified
Tell my waves to be still
be still

God of my anxiety
Lord of my rest
Author of my being
Messiah, saviour of all these broken things

We just don’t get it
We probably never will
Your perfection doesn’t make much sense to our minds
We argue about you all the time

We want to prove to you that we know what to do
But when we try we only prove that the opposite is true
We argue about it all the time

God of our anxiety
Lord of our rest
Author of our being
Messiah, saviour of all these broken things

Let us learn to let go of the ruins we call home

Song #1 – Making it right – not getting it right

So, right now I’m working on a new CD… and I’m very grateful because I’ve had a real writers block for the longest time. I’ve had music for these songs for a long time, roughly 1-2 years. The music expressed deeply what was brewing in my heart with God, life, love. But I just couldn’t find the courage to express it with words.

But things have been changing. My wife and I have been overwhelmed by the safety and shelter of the love of Christ and his people. Something cracked inside and now it’s all spilling out.

So, one by one I’m going to go through these songs, and what is on my heart with them. (You’ll have to just wait to hear them, however)

This first song is all about the fact that when Christ claims us, we’re his. He knows us. He’s not shocked by us. He’s not expecting us to perform like a perfect dancing toy for him to assess.

In fact, he knows far more deeply than we do what a mess we really are, and if we’re willing to follow along, he knows the path to take us on that will lead us to life.

This is a message that I cannot emphasize enough to myself.

We have an incredibly messed up idea of perfection. We look at performance, not progress… we look at looks, not the heart. We have the idea that things going smoothly, being just so, is perfection. But God seems to have a different idea.

The scriptures are a huge, massive tale of God showing us just what his perfection actually looks like. And it seemed to be a big deal to Christ as well, as he said that we should be perfect as he is perfect. Then, he proceeded to treat sinners, wretches, prostitutes, traitors… he treated them in ways that were so outside the box.

Our God is the restorer. He is creator, and recreator. He puts things right. Christ set people right. He restored them to being the children of God, made in the image of God.

If perfection was this messed up, performance based idea of getting it right and things going smoothly, then would God the father not be a horrid failure? He created this world, and allowed room for it to make the choice to hate him.

No, his perfection is inviting us into the dance of making restoration along with him. We get to join in as he makes all things new.

___________________

My Refuge

you don’t have to get it right to be mine

you don’t have to perform for me

you don’t have to get it right to be mine

set your eyes on me and you will see

 

Your perfection is nothing like mine

I am resurrection

your perfection is nothing like mine

I renew perception

 

Rise and face the dawn

 

Rise and face the dawn

be a harmony in the eternal song

rise and face the dawn

all creation will sing along

Covered in light

A tree fights to grow in a ruined and “cleared” lot of land.

Covered in light, stretching the sky
our king draws near, his reign is here
tell the children to run free without fear

Under his rule there is no wise or fool
just brothers and sisters and daughters and sons
Those who chose to trust and rest in his son

Glory Glory Hallelujah

Let all the earth rejoice

women, children, trees and stones

let the angels hear your voice!

with every beat of our hearts

and each day that the father gives

we will proclaim the truth

that the king of creation lives

he gives breath to the vile and life to the child
he knows the fate of both
he rides on the storms and in his hands are born
tools of destruction and the seeds of growth
so draw in close and join the host
of all who will live and be free
pledge your allegiance to the author of life
for there is no king but he

Glory Glory Hallelujah

Let all creation rejoice

Men and warlords, you kings on your thrones

let the angels hear your voice

with every beat of our hearts

and each day that the father gives

we will proclaim the truth

that the king of creation lives

Eyes Wide Open

As of late I’ve been smitten with the new Jars Of Clay album, ‘The Shelter.’ It’s a seriously convicting batch of songs from a band that I haven’t often given much time or attention to. But these songs have really grabbed my heart.

Song after song is laden with the conviction that we are in fact made by God, for each other. Each and every one of us has what the other needs. God has made us to be one.

One particular song has really gripped me though. It’s called ‘Eyes Wide Open.’ The song is refreshingly honest, and it’s an honesty that we need.

The truth is- We fight God all the time.

We want our way, our comforts…

We want to convince ourselves that we’re ‘believers’ or ‘disciples’ or even the big ‘c’ word, ‘Christians.’ The fact is, we’ve got to measure ourself against the one and only, the Christ himself.

We have a serious lack of belief. We walk around with faith that can barely move pebbles, let alone mountains. We don’t have lack. We get what we want when we want it. We are a culture that barely needs God, let alone wants him meddling in our cozy lives.

Here’s a good question to ask ourselves- “How can we live in a way that invites the Spirit of God to be with us?” I heard about someone asking this yesterday, and it really caught my attention.

So I’ve got to honestly ask myself- “Am I serious about being near God? If I am, then what is in my way?”

Is there anything worth having in the way? Is there any pleasure, delight, comfort, that can compare to knowing the maker and lover of your very soul?

So here’s the lyrics to this song I mentioned… it’s a conversation with God. Think good and hard on it, and if you’re up for it, pray along with it.

Talk to me, ’cause I’ve been talking to myself, Help me get these thoughts out of my own head

I don’t believe, most days I don’t believe, Mercy is true, it’s hard to live with the things I do

So God, bruise the heels we’ve dug in the ground that we might move closer to love

And pull out the roots we’ve dug in so deep, finish what You started… help us to believe

Keep our eyes wide open (love is kind and love is daring, everything we need to keep our eyes wide open…)

We can’t go on, it seems this conversation’s done, it’s so hard to win these fights and love you at the same time

So take my hands till grace makes her way to bend, till the things I’ve set to ruin only lead to my own end

So God, bruise the heels we’ve dug in the ground that we might move closer to love

And pull out the roots we’ve dug in so deep, finish what You started… help us to believe

Keep our eyes wide open (love is kind and love is daring, everything we need to keep our eyes wide open…)

Draw us in, send us out…

Draw us in, pour us out…

Help us to believe

I’m simply in awe…

My God, I love you more than I can ever say…

Your ways aren’t my ways, and I’m so grateful. My ways are vindictive and spiteful. I return evil for evil and I hurt with my tongue and actions… but You look at us, and you see one whole child, Your child, and you long so much to have us near You.

Oh, the lengths that you go to bring us near You. From the tides and shifting winds to the sweet breeze as we open the door in the morning, saying sweetly, “I love you, child.”

You orchestrate our comings and goings… and if we learn to hold Your mighty hand, it’s amazing how we can look back on it all, even the tragedy, and see that You were there all the while, helping along.

I just can’t praise You enough for being my great Father, Lord. I have no home but You. Your heart is where I long to rest. I want to be like you when I grow up… no… I want to be like You today.

Deal with me.

Take the spite out of me… the selfishness and hate… the envy and strife. I want to be able to see what you see when you look in our eyes.

It blows my mind how You came to show us just how far You’d go for us, just how much you valued us… You went all the way to death.

They’ve taken Your name and made a fool of it, Lord. People hate hearing about You… they’ve used Your name to do terrible things… but I know that You know all of that.

I can still look at those stories and see who You were. How You drew the worst of the worst to You… You gathered them like a hen gathers her chicks, and You loved them so much. They had so much value to You.

I can imagine the way You’d hold their faces and look in their eyes… who’d want anything but to be in Your presence. You’ve done the same for me, and there’s no place I’d rather be but with You. I want to gaze in Your eyes forever. I want to give the love You’ve offered me to everyone I see.

Thank You…

Thank You so much for never giving up on me.

Thank You for keeping me in Your amazing hands.

Do what You want with me my Lord, because I know that it will always be best. I’m Yours… Your’s alone…